A4e 13 week IAP Induction week. Day 2

Today, the most of the day is taken up with health and safety lectures. I don't know how watching videos of people being attacked by a bull is relevant.

Most of the afternoon is dedicated to completing a 'soft skills' questionnaire which takes about 5 minutes. It delivers the somewhat astonishing news that I am lacking in confidence. I am yet to see any reason why this induction week is necessary as I am quite sure it would have easily fit into the gateway course, after all 36% (approximately 10 hours) of that time was completely wasted.

A4e 13 week IAP Induction week. Day 1

From Monday to Thursday I am doing my induction for my 13 week IAP course at A4e at a nearish centre as my local one doesn't have the resources to do that part of it, apparently. They aren't able to tell me terms and conditions it seems. Maybe they don't know them?

I am lucky to be in a fairly small group. I am not sure how the usual group which is 3 times bigger even fits in the classroom. It's only April, yet the room is far too hot and most of the windows don't open.

Now that DWP are apparently in charge of data protection, we now have to only put a first initial and surname on our folders. Not quite sure about the reasoning behind this. Next I have the tour of the building. I am told you need a code for the doorpad to use the toilet, apparently I have to work it out for myself though. Not like the computer passwords, which for extra safety are written on the computers.

The first day consists of filling in a 'venture' booklet where you apparently list goals or something. Also, being read terms and conditions. Only half an hour before hometime does the old standby of doing a quiz to fill in time finally occur.

A4e Meeting

It seems that the first obstacle is actually finding the entrance on the unmarked building that looks derelict. I (wrongly) try the one that looks most like a reception and I am then pointed in the direction of another door. To get to the A4e reception, I walk through lots of corridors and pass approximately 10 training rooms and numerous scary looking characters. I'm pretty sure that this can't be the correct entrance to the building, as nobody would design it this way. It turns out when I am later shown out, that it is in fact the correct entrance.

Lucky me, I get to arrive during afternoon break so I get to see the other unfortunates. Still feeling rather concerned for my safety. As nobody was expecting me, I get a quite lengthy wait in reception, where I am rather amazed to spot an abandoned Financial Times.

Finally I get to meet someone from A4e. Ah, this must be when that personalised aspect of new Deal that I was assured of must come into play. Perhaps not. Instead of telling me anything about business admin, I get to fill in some forms where the expected answers don't really seem to reflect the question. For example, when asked about my career goals, I don't think 'i want a full time job' is really the same thing. I am then told that I need to give them more options for work experience than just admin. I need a second choice. I can't really think of jobs that are not office based, and admin was really already a last choice so I don't know what to suggest. It turns out that the A4e rep also has little idea. She suggests retail, which I reject, and then seems at a complete loss for some time, when she eventually thinks of cleaning. Hmm, work experience as a cleaner. I am sure that has never helped ANYBODY, expect perhaps the people getting free cleaning.

Next she decides to actually find out about me. Finally, maybe they'll realise how unhelpful they're being (I'm such an optimist). I get a form to write down my qualifications, from most recent first. She takes it, glances at the last thing I wrote and comments on my good grades. She then thinks the last thing I did was GCSEs....the LAST thing I wrote on my form. OK, maybe it was just forgetfulness, maybe she's not stupid. Then I tell her I finished my PhD in 2006. She thinks for some time and then decides this is 14, yes fourteen! years ago.

I finally escape having been bullied into putting down retail as an option for my work experience and saying I would be willing to work for minimum wage. Having seen the resources (I passed about 10 training rooms and saw only one with computers) and meeting the staff (company which claims to address their 'clients' literacy and numeracy needs should certainly look at their own staff), I am pretty sure that A4e is not in a position to help anybody, certainly not me. I am not planning on attending a course run by idiots that have somehow conned the government into funding their ridiculous scam. It looks like bullying me off jobseekers allowance is going to work as I have no intention of going somewhere which has nothing to offer me and where I am concerned for my safety. That's one way of fixing unemployment statistics I guess.

New Deal Advisor day

It's another new deal advisor day. Today I am told to go and visit A4e before my course 'to see if it's appropriate..but it's irrelevant since it's a mandatory course'. Not sure about the point of this, but it means putting of the course for another week, so it seems I'm going to a meeting to talk about what sort of business admin work experience they offer.

A4e Gateway Course, Day 10

I don't really know what this day was for. Filled in 2 forms about my experience and then waited until 1pm for it to be over. Most of the day was used productively by people throwing paper aeroplanes at each other.

So my gateway course is over, and they almost convinced me I really was stupid with all their degrading, patronising efforts. But then I remembered I was being taught to write CVs and letters by someone with no teaching qualifications who gave incorrect advice about spelling and good use of english.

I have now been issued with a recommendation to complete a 13 week IAP course to continue my jobsearch, whatever that means. I assume it means I'm still to be treated like a child who could not possibly be trusted to look for a job without being watched. I actually can, and I think my A4e 'trainer' would agree as I was left to my own devices pretty much the whole time I was there. I'm glad someone had some sense, it's just a shame the jobcentre are so lacking in it.

Looking forward to next weeks meeting with the New Deal 'Advisor'. Already raising my hackles with their ridiculous courtesy call to remind me to go in.

Interview!

An invitation to an interview on Monday!! From a jobcentre application form too. This is rather suspicious, I have applied for many admin jobs without being strong-armed into it by the jobcentre, and have never had any success before. First job is to ring my course and tell them I will be late on Monday. This is made more difficult by the bungling jobcentre giving me the wrong phone number. Starting to find their ineptitude quite amusing.

Next, preparing for interview. First port of call, the company's website. Now alarm bells are ringing, they seem to mainly run projects for young people (i.e. under 25) and arrange work placements for young people. Has my New Deal Bully actually made me apply for a work placement rather than a job? Would she not have told me? Would she not have noticed that my being on New Deal 25+ indicates, somewhat obviously, that I am over 25? Could really do with that job description now. I will assume, despite mounting evidence to the contrary, that she is not so useless.

Nondescript Job description

Must apply for job to satiate New Deal Bully/Advisor. She hasn't bothered to give me a job description, does she know nothing about jobseeking? Oh yes, never mind. Guess admin job will want good communication skills and IT skills, might as well just fill in form, hardly any space to write anything anyway.