Interview!

An invitation to an interview on Monday!! From a jobcentre application form too. This is rather suspicious, I have applied for many admin jobs without being strong-armed into it by the jobcentre, and have never had any success before. First job is to ring my course and tell them I will be late on Monday. This is made more difficult by the bungling jobcentre giving me the wrong phone number. Starting to find their ineptitude quite amusing.

Next, preparing for interview. First port of call, the company's website. Now alarm bells are ringing, they seem to mainly run projects for young people (i.e. under 25) and arrange work placements for young people. Has my New Deal Bully actually made me apply for a work placement rather than a job? Would she not have told me? Would she not have noticed that my being on New Deal 25+ indicates, somewhat obviously, that I am over 25? Could really do with that job description now. I will assume, despite mounting evidence to the contrary, that she is not so useless.

Nondescript Job description

Must apply for job to satiate New Deal Bully/Advisor. She hasn't bothered to give me a job description, does she know nothing about jobseeking? Oh yes, never mind. Guess admin job will want good communication skills and IT skills, might as well just fill in form, hardly any space to write anything anyway.

New ordeal - first meeting.

It finally happened. It had been stalking me for a while, and now NEW DEAL has attacked. Stupid lying wishing bracelet. So, will this be the day the jobcentre finally changes my mind about its general incompetence? Doubtful. Today is the first meeting with the evil that is the New Deal Advisor. At this point all I know is that she has failed to spell my name correctly on my letter. I also appreciated the patronising phone call to remind me about the stupid meeting. Clearly I couldn't be trusted to go to that one despite managing to make it to every other meeting with them in the last couple of years.

First Meeting

And so to the meeting itself. Straight to business, the authoritarian (and patronising, of course, it is the jobcentre after all) stance of New Deal is quickly established. Weirdly, despite the obvious opinion that I am very stupid, there is very little information about what I can actually expect from New Deal. My booklet also offers no information but does mention words such as choice, something that is very much ignored by the Advisor.

Jobseekers agreement

The first important job is to change my jobseekers agreement. Clearly my own job choices are ridiculous, so need to be removed entirely. I am then left with 2, (I don't know why I'm not allowed 3, it has 3 boxes for job choices. I can only assume it's because she needs to demean me she knows she can't actually help me.) Excellent, and what realistic job choice has she chosen for me? Admin. Of course. Perfect for me, as I have no admin experience. Can't think why I never thought of it before. (It could be because on sites where it tells you how many people have applied for a job, admin positions are always in the hundreds? Hmm, if was an employer and had, say 200 applicants, would I go for the overqualified person with no admin experience?) My other existing job choice was chosen by another jobcentre monkey, so is allowed yay. Excellent, so my goals are set super high, so glad I spent so many years at University now. Well, at least she hasn't suggested retail....Damn.

Job Search

Right, now we have a realistic job choice, on to job search. After some searching, she finally finds me something to apply for, and with a jobcentre application form-the first application form I've ever seen which doesn't allow you to put dates in it. Also, the first time I've had to fill in a job application form BY HAND, ever! And just to make sure I know that she thinks I'm just stupid and lazy, she feels the need to add a paragraph to my agreement stating that I MUST apply for all jobs she gives me. Ok, I would've done anyway, but message duly noted.

The Course

This is the bit where she explains New Deal, sort of. All I really learn from this is that I have to do a 2 week course with A4e. I will have some sort of support from them in contacting employers and they will obviously fix me or something to that effect. If I somehow don't have a job by then, New Deal Advisor is making me do a work placement.

So, half an hour of being patronised, and all I know is I'm doing a course, which I naturally have full faith in. Best get that wishing bracelet fixed.